Quiz

SHOULD YOU RETIRE IN MEXICO?

Test yourself, amigo

  1. How familiar are you with Mexico?
    1. I’ve visited more than once, traveled widely beyond the tourist areas, read history, cultural and guide books, know or want to learn Spanish, saw Y Tu Mama Tambien.
    2. I’ve been to Mexican resorts several times, traveled a bit, read a guidebook, have Mexican friends, know a bit of Spanish, saw Like Water for Chocolate.
    3. I’ve crossed over the border for shopping, restaurants and nightlife, which I enjoy. I’ve spent time with Mexican-Americans, I can speak some Spanish phrases, I saw Frida.
    4. I went to Cancun once but can’t remember it. I eat Mexican food, try to talk Spanish with the waiters, I read a used book called Mexico on $400 a Month, I saw Treasure of the Sierra Madre on TV.
  2. How would you characterize your main purpose in moving to Mexico, full- or part-time?
    1. I want to find a mostly pleasant climate, change my life, live a bit more affordably, adapt to a new culture, and settle among both Mexicans and gringos.
    2. I want terrific weather, not too much change, am willing to get a taste of a new culture, to live well on a lot less, and to settle in a gated community with like-minded people.
    3. I want a fantastic year-round climate where I can live much more cheaply among fellow gringos, and have inexpensive Mexican maids and gardeners.
    4. I want to go where the weather’s perfect, live like a prince on my Social Security check, and the fewer locals, the better.
  3. What are your greatest concerns about Mexico?
    1. The usual suspects—crime, corruption—but I know it depends on where, and how, you choose to live in Mexico, as it does in the States. I choose to believe people are honest and well-intentioned unless they prove otherwise.
    2. Well, I’m dead certain I’ll see my share of petty crime and corruption, but it’s no big deal, I’m prepared for it and I’m willing to roll with the punches.
    3. When I get asked for a payoff by a cop, I’ll refuse and take him to traffic court. If I catch a burglar, I’ll press charges. I don’t bend the rules at home, I’m not bending them here.
    4. I have little or no confidence in the Mexican police, the courts, or public officials. I fully expect I’ll have to bribe them all.
  4. A Mexican makes an appointment and shows up three hours late. You:
    1. Shrug and get on with it.
    2. Ask him to be more punctual in the future.
    3. Tell him you’re upset, and that he has no respect for your time.
    4. Order him to be punctual, and wag a finger in his face to make sure he gets it.
  5. Your next-door neighbor has frequent loud fiestas. You:
    1. Shrug and enjoy it.
    2. Ask him if he can turn it down.
    3. Order him to turn it down.
    4. Threaten to call the police.
  6. You’re a woman in a Mexican town (not in a border city), taking an early evening walk. Two Mexican men are coming toward you. You:
    1. Nod and say “Buenas Noches.”
    2. Stare straight ahead avoiding eye contact.
    3. Move to the opposite side of the street.
    4. Walk quickly back in the direction you came from.
  7. The waiter at an upscale restaurant pours you a glass of water with ice in it. You:
    1. Drink it without concern, knowing ice is made from purified water by Mexican law.
    2. Drink it with some concern, and don’t suck the ice.
    3. Send back the water and ice and ask for a sealed bottle of mineral water.
    4. Pour the ice into the potted palm and order a tequila.
  8. You are ready to consider buying real estate in Mexico. Your first steps are:
    1. To resist buying at all. Rent a place, talk to people over time, get to know the lay of the land. Refuse to get caught up in real estate fever.
    2. Wait till you get down there, rent for a while, but be ready to make a bid on a property before the price goes up.
    3. Before you go, check out real estate on the Internet; when you see photos you like, email the broker. When you get there, if it looks as good, contact a lawyer and offer a deposit.
    4. Before you go, check out real estate on the Internet; when you see photos you like, email the broker; he tells you properties are going fast; you wire-transfer payment to him.
  9. You come down with flu-like symptoms. You:
    1. Ask friends about the best doctor in the area, Mexican or otherwise, and pay a visit.
    2. Ask friends about any English-speaking doctors in the area, and pay a visit.
    3. Ask if there are any American doctors in the area, and drive as far as it takes to be certain you’re getting American medical care.
    4. Call in the chopper and evacuate.
  10. Your attitude toward Mexicans can best be described as:
    1. A hard-working people with a rich culture and strong family ties living in a beautiful country with significant economic problems but a rising middle class. Luckily, they are more welcoming toward gringos in their country than we are toward them in ours.
    2. A hard-working people with a rich culture and strong family ties living in a semi-dysfunctional society with widespread poverty. I like the Mexicans I’ve met, and I look forward to teaching them how we do things so they can improve their lot.
    3. A hard-working people ready to flee north at the drop of a sombrero. Their economy is a mess, as is their government. I think Mexicans are all right, but I hope they’ll be grateful for the money and employment we retirees will bring.
    4. I like Mexico, except for the Mexicans.

Key: Give yourself 5 points for every a) answer, 4 points for every b), 3 points for every c), 2 points for every d), and 0 points for every d.)

40-50 points: You’re a thoughtful, open-minded and promising candidate for moving to Mexico.

30-40 points: With a bit more study, visits, and on-the-ground experience, you may become a candidate for moving to Mexico.

20-30 points: You need to learn a lot more before you consider doing anything more permanent than visiting Mexico as a tourist.

0-10 points: Stay home.